


Love Potion No. 9

by flowerfan



Category: Glee
Genre: Glee Twist Fest, Graduation, Klaine, M/M, Magic, love potion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt just wants to enjoy the party with his fiancé, but Sugar's love potion is making the New Directions do some unexpected things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Potion No. 9

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Glee Twist Fest (Prompt: what if Sugar made a love potion?)  
> (With apologies to the Harvard Krokodiloes, whose a capella arrangement of the song inspired the performance in this fic.)
> 
> Warning for characters acting under the influence of a love potion.

When Kurt got to Breadstix the celebration was already in full swing. It was just after graduation, and Sugar had once again rented out the restaurant for her friends’ partying pleasure. The overwhelmingly pink decorations reminded Kurt of the Valentine’s Day party his senior year, although this time Sugar’s “love” theme was supposedly tied to how the graduates’ love for their friends would be everlasting, or something along those lines.

Kurt smiled and waved as Blaine got up on the stage and took the mic, his stomach swooping as Blaine grinned back. He knew Blaine was going to be performing a number of times tonight, but he was glad he didn’t miss this one. If Blaine’s late night conspiring with various current and former Warblers was any hint, it should be good.

Kurt recognized Trent, Nick, Wes, and a few of the other boys, and it looked like Sam and Ryder were joining in too. Sebastian was absent, which was just as well, although he appreciated the fact that Sebastian had been cool about the whole proposal extravaganza. Apparently Sebastian was going to Columbia, so they might see him in New York once in a while. Kurt was trying to keep an open mind about Sebastian, but he wasn’t quite ready to invite him out for drinks.

The boys on stage had formed a semicircle around Blaine, and as he began singing, Trent and Sam joined in him the center, everyone snapping their fingers to the catchy tune. Apparently they had decided to go with a traditional a capella arrangement for the song, akin to a group Wes was in at Harvard.

_I took my troubles down to Madame Rue_  
 _You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth_  
 _She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine_  
 _Sellin' little bottles of Love Potion No. 9._

Sugar had clearly coordinated things with Blaine, as she was winding her way through the guests, looking like an old fashioned cigarette girl with a tray hanging from a strap around her neck – at least, if old fashioned cigarette girls wore pink leopard printed sequined crop tops. Sugar was handing out brightly colored little bottles as she went, smiling and giggling at her guests.

On stage, Sam moved to the center and took the next verse, his face expressive as he bemoaned the fact that “he was a flop with chicks.” Poor Sam, apparently he hadn’t had a very good year where his love life was concerned. 

_I told her that I was a flop with chicks_   
_I've been this way since 1956_   
_She looked at my palm, and she made a magic sign_   
_She said, what you need is Love Potion No. 9_

Sugar bopped her way over to Kurt, but just as he reached to take one of the shiny little bottles, Tina blocked his arm. “No way, we’re not doing that to Blaine tonight,” Tina declared, grabbing Kurt by the wrist and pulling him away from Sugar. “Let’s dance.”

Kurt didn’t know what Tina was talking about, but he figured he’d find out soon enough. He shrugged and let Tina pull him up to the front of the room, happy enough to better view of Blaine. Trent finished up a verse and then Blaine came back to the center, energetically belting out the last few verses as Sam and Ryder did some silly choreography behind him.

_I didn't know if it was day or night_   
_I started kissin' everything in sight_   
_But when I kissed that cop down at Thirty-Fourth and Vine_   
_He broke my little bottle of Love Potion No. 9_

_Love Potion No. 9_   
_Love Potion No. 9_   
_Love Potion No. 9_

“Thanks everybody!” Blaine was out of breath, but he was smiling broadly as everyone cheered in appreciation. “Make sure you get some Love Potion Number 9 from our amazing hostess, Sugar – let’s hear it for Sugar!”

Everyone whooped, and Blaine hopped off the stage, moving through the crowd towards Kurt. When he reached him Blaine pulled him into a spin, and then a quick hug. “Missed you,” Blaine said, planting a sloppy kiss on his mouth.

“You saw me two hours ago at dinner,” Kurt joked, taking Blaine’s hands and twirling him around. He loved seeing Blaine this way, overflowing with happiness and high on performance adrenaline. It was as if when Blaine performed he was able to ignore all the little worries and insecurities that usually plagued him and just threw himself into the connection with the audience. Blaine was talented, and gorgeous, and a high school graduate who would soon be moving to New York to live with Kurt. Life was good.

“I know I just saw you, but I just can’t get enough,” Blaine joked, humming the words into Kurt’s ear. “Blame Sugar’s love potion.”

Kurt laughed, but tensed when Tina shoved herself between them. The girl was practically frantic. “You didn’t drink it, Blaine, did you?” Tina grabbed Blaine’s chin and turned his head towards her, looking him in the eyes. “Tell me you didn’t drink Sugar’s love potion?”

“Um, no, I didn’t.” Blaine looked as confused as Kurt felt. “Tina, what’s going on?”

Tina grabbed them both and pulled them over to the side of the room, dodging a line of dancers led by Marley and Unique. 

“Sugar made a real love potion,” Tina confided, her eyes wide. “It actually works. After you drink it, the first person you touch falls in love with you.”

“That’s kind of crazy, Tina,” Blaine said gently, as Kurt nodded in agreement, sliding his arms around Blaine’s waist from behind and tucking his chin over Blaine’s shoulder.

“No crazier than puppets serenading you, Blaine,” Tina replied sharply. “If you haven’t noticed, things aren’t always normal around here. And I’m telling you, this love potion is real.” Tina’s voice got higher as she spoke, her hands flailing about in distress.

“I highly doubt Sugar has the ability to make a love potion, Tina, even if such a thing existed,” Kurt said, slightly annoyed at Tina for interrupting his reunion with his sweaty and sexy fiancé. “She’s not exactly a rocket scientist.” Kurt hoped they could clear this up soon, but something had certainly gotten Tina’s panties in a twist. “Is there something bothering you?”

“Kurt! Yes, something is bothering me, and it should be bothering you too. Look around,” Tina gestured in the general direction of the dancing crowd. “This is not normal!”

“What, that people are dancing at a graduation party?” Blaine asked, threading his fingers through Kurt’s and leaning back against him. “Everyone’s having fun.” Blaine twisted his head to give Kurt a kiss, humming appreciatively as Kurt pulled him closer.

“Oh my god, would you guys focus?” Tina exclaimed, exasperated. “Fine, I’ll take you through it step by step. First, look in that corner over there, in the booth.” Tina stomped her foot until Blaine gave her his attention. “Jake and Ryder are making out. And not just a little.”

“I don’t know, that could happen,” Blaine said thoughtfully. 

“How about over by the stage, where Kitty is practically humping Mr. Schue?” Mr. Schue appeared not to even notice the blond girl gyrating madly behind him, although Artie was looking worried.

“That is weird. But maybe it’s a new dance move?” Blaine looked to Kurt, who was staring at Kitty disgustedly. “Kind of like twerking?”

“I never did get that girl,” Kurt remarked. “But that doesn’t mean there’s a magic love potion.”

Just then Santana sashayed by, swinging her hips and tossing her hair in a decidedly unsubtle manner. “Oh my god you guys, did you see him? I think he likes me! He’s soooooo cute! Oh my god you guys, you have to help me!”

“Santana,” Kurt untangled himself from Blaine and grabbed Santana by the arm. “Why do you sound like a sorority girl from a community theater production of Legally Blonde? And who are you even talking about?”

“Him!” Santana wailed, pointing out a short boy with a round face and bright orange hair. She pulled out of Kurt’s grasp and headed over to her victim.

Kurt was baffled. “Who is that?” he asked Tina.

“Mm, I’m pretty sure it’s Ari, Jacob Ben-Israel’s younger brother. He’s in seventh grade.” They watched as the boy helped Sugar distribute sodas and potion bottles from her tray. “Guess he handed Santana a bottle. He’s going to be in for a surprise if she ever snaps out of this.”

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look. “All right, Tina, you’ve convinced us. Something unusual is definitely going on. But what can we do about it?” Blaine asked.

“Do about what?” Sam bounced over, swinging an arm around Blaine’s shoulders and grinning. “Did you have some love potion yet? I’ve got a bunch – want one?” Sam held out a handful of potion bottles.

“No no, no no no,” Kurt spoke up. “No drinking the love potion, and definitely not while touching my fiancé.” Kurt grabbed the bottles out of Sam’s hand and deposited them neatly in a potted plant behind him.

“Sam, the love potion is real,” Blaine explained quickly. “After you drink it, the first person you touch falls in love with you.”

“Sweet!” Sam cheered. 

“No, it’s really not,” Blaine chided. “Look over there at Kitty and Mr. Schue… man, he should really know better.” Blaine shook his head. “And look at Santana.”

Sam looked, and grimaced. “That kid doesn’t really look like someone Santana would go for, does he,” he observed. “Even if he was a girl.” Sam turned back to Blaine. “So, how do we fix it?”

“We don’t know, Sam, otherwise we’d have done it already,” Tina said despairingly. 

“Well, did you try asking Willow and Tara?” Sam asked.

“Who?” Kurt looked at Blaine – he counted on him to decipher Sam’s nerd speak.

Blaine laughed. “Sam, I know this is all pretty out there, but it doesn’t mean fictional characters from Buffy are suddenly going to show up to solve our problems.” 

“No, dude, I know that. I mean the Willow and Tara app. It’s got all kinds of supernatural stuff on it, like how to kill werewolves, and what to do if a snake bites you.”

“Snakes aren’t supernatural,” Kurt said dryly, not won over by Sam’s suggestion. 

“Some of them are. Like Nagini,” Sam pointed out, looking pleased. “Ha! Look, it’s right here,” Sam held his phone up to Kurt, and Blaine and Tina leaned in to see. “It says that most love potions wear off within 15 to 30 minutes. It’s not real love, it doesn’t last. So we don’t have to worry!”

“Assuming that’s even right, we should still stop Sugar from handing them out. Our friends would probably rather not be doing, uh, that,” Blaine pointed to Santana, who had Ari in a choke hold and was licking his neck, “because of a magic potion.”

“Agreed,” Kurt said, taking Blaine’s hand. He wondered vaguely what would happen if someone touched them while they were holding hands – would they both fall in love with the potion drinker? Could be complicated. Although possibly sexy. Kurt shook his head and tried to stop imagining a threesome between himself, Blaine, and a mysterious but handsome stranger. “Blaine and I will go talk to Sugar, and you guys see if you can separate the potion drinkers from their beloveds until this stuff wears off.” 

Later that night, back at Kurt’s empty house, Blaine joined his fiancé on the couch and rested his head on Kurt’s shoulder. “Mmm, you smell good,” Blaine murmured, snuggling in against him.

“You’re awfully cuddly,” Kurt remarked, shifting so that Blaine could rest against him more comfortably. “You didn’t drink Sugar’s potion, did you?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Blaine joked. “Plus, it wouldn’t work that way. If I drank the potion and touched you, then you would fall in love with me.”

“I am in love with you, you goof.” Kurt pressed a kiss to Blaine’s messy curls. “And we don’t need a love potion.”

“Very true. Our love is way better than magic potion love.”

“Obviously, because it’s real.” Kurt turned towards Blaine, his eyes sparkling as he ran his hands lightly over Blaine’s chest, sliding one hand around to squeeze his ass. “And because if it was going to wear off in 15 to 30 minutes, I wouldn’t have time to give you your other graduation present…”


End file.
